Most people think they really want to get success. But, is that really true?
For example, most people know how to be more healthy and if you ask them they’ll tell you, “Yes, I really want to be more healthy”. But is that really the case because their actions will indicate otherwise. These same people will drink colas, eat unhealthy food, not exercise, perhaps smoke or drink, not sleep at regular hours and not do anything everyday to reduce stress.
So, in fact, for most people, “I want this and this” really means that “I am not willing to do what it takes, but if I get it great”.
The main reason that you don’t get anything done in life is because you don’t actually want to.
You say you want to. But you don’t really.
I woke up at 4:25 this morning to take a friend to the airport. I usually struggle to wake up at 7am with a symphony of different alarm clocks. But I woke up BEFORE my alarms went off this morning. Why? I had decided to wake up. I decided that I wouldn’t let my friend down and that I would wake up to take him to the airport… whereas other mornings I tell myself that I must wake up at 7am, but I don’t actually want to wake up. I just tell myself to do it because I think I should but I don’t decide to wake up, so I don’t.
People say that they want to improve and be brilliant but that’s not actually what they want.
People say they want to do really well academically but they don’t study. Those who do well make it their purpose to do well. They focus fully when they study, and they study for hours. They decide to do well and do everything to make that happen. They live it. Their decision is beyond just words, they make it their purpose.
People say that they want to improve but actually, their purpose is to “just get by”. And that’s all that happens, they “just get by”. And that’s fine. It’s what they want. On a deep level, at least. They’ll tell you that they want to change and improve, but that’s not what they want.
I really believe that you can do anything. Anything at all. I don’t believe in “intelligence” – in the sense that one person is clever and another isn’t – or the idea that one person can do something and another can’t. I really believe, based on my own experience, that if you want something and decide to do it and make it happen then you can. You can do anything at all as long as you decide to do it.
But there’s the thing:
You have to make that decision – that choice – to do it. The intention behind the decision is what makes the decision bloom. Make that decision, feel it as though it is now, with full intention for that to be true, fully feel that excitement that change brings pulsing through your being – don’t just tell yourself that you’ll do it in a lie intended to protect your lazy, useless existence.
We’re scared of change because we’re worried that changing something means it wasn’t already perfect – and that makes us worry that other things aren’t “perfect” – but improving your life relies on the notion that there’s something to improve.
That which you are on a deep level is changeless, perfect, whole and complete. But we can still improve the situations we experience. The experiencer, that which you are, is perfect and changeless but the experience can be changed and improved upon when you decide to do so.
But unless you fully commit and decide to do something – to improve or change something – your indecisiveness will keep you torn between where you are and where you want to be, it’ll create resistance that will limit your potential action, and it will cloud your awareness of the reality of the situation.
You have to make a whole-hearted, committed decision that resonates in every tingle of your being, giving you that “I will do this no matter what” motivation to do something – to act on that decision and to actually improve.
Decide to do something.
But take responsibility and make a decision.
…because if you don’t, nothing will change.
Ask yourself again sincerely and deeply “Really want to get success?”
And once you ask this question to yourself and if you are willing to listen to the answer honestly, you’ll realize the truth, and then you can immediately take steps towards success while others will just dream about it.
Now Discover the Biggest Secret for Your Success …
First, the Summary of Part 1 and Part 2:
On 31 Dec, I sent new year wishes and also asked you to tell me your biggest goal and problem face. Many of you send replies by email. Goals were from IIT, IAS, UPSC, CA, owning house, own business, becoming manager, etc…
The good news is that everybody knew their biggest problems which is good because once you know your problem you can do something about it.
Here are some of the biggest problems you wrote are:
lack of motivation
not having money
not having time after job to prepare
poor in communication
Do you face any of these problems?
And the people who have these problems are not sure how to get over these problems.
Many of you wrote in comments that it seems some of these people are not really serious about their own success. And, I agree with this understanding.
The Real Cause Behind the Problem
The biggest problem behind most of these are one or both of these:
Not being fully sure that you deserve success
Not having the confidence that if you do everything in your power you’ll get success
So, people feel unmotivated and lazy, which just means that those are afraid to even try because then there can be pain of failure, so the easiest path is not even try fully (and then we can justify to ourselves that I was not fully interested). But this is very sad because consider someone who is weak in English Vocab but wants to join IIM, so he joins good coaching (cost 20,000 to 35,000) but because of lack of confidence does not use our Vocab Builder Mind Machine and postpones vocab prep, all of which results in not getting success while wasting time and money.
Even when someone says he or she does not have money to do coaching or buy a course or mind machine, what it really means is that he does not think and feel and is sure that his or her goal is important.
And I am sure you realize that if my goal is not important, even I will feel lazy and unmotivated to do anything.
First, I want you to know that I believe MORE in your success potential than you do yourself.
The key to solution comes form Anthony Robbins, who says: “When you know WHY, the you will find HOW”.
What he is saying is that if your reason for your goal is important then your goal will be important. And, once your mind knows that the goal is important, it will find ways to achieve it.
You’ll feel motivated and energized when you wake up in the morning. And, you’ll get the necessary tools, advisers, money and whatever it takes to achieve your goal.
I remember that about 2 years back a person who got success in IAS was really poor. He lived and studied in a room which was only 4 feet by 8 feet. But, he did whatever it took to get success. So can you. So should you.
First, you have to realize that you deserve success.
Second, your chances of success are much better if you try whole-heartedly. If others (your classmates and others you know) can get success, so can you. It is only a matter of doing a certain specific things so you get from where you are to where you want to reach.
What to Do Right Now
The next step is to get the tools, techniques, course material, coaching that will propel you towards your success and then use them on consistent daily basis.
To all of you who need to study and learn for achieving your goal, I very strongly recommend that you get these:
Please write in the comment at the bottom of this page about what specific steps you are going to take for your success. Also mention how soon immediately you plan to get the about recommended tools and if you don’t plan to get them, please mention why not (this will help yourself and others, too).
To fully benefit, if you have not read “Part 1”, click here to read it now before reading below.
To fully understand your goals and how important they are and to understand problems to be overcome on the path to achieving your goals without accepting defeat and without giving up, there is one thing you can do right now: Spend some time to ask yourself and answer these questions.
Once you go through the complete series on “Path to Your Success” (free for you), you can expect to be more clear about your goals and your effort to achieve them, understand how people self-limit themselves by giving various reasons to themselves (which to others look like just plain excuses), you can have more confidence and energy to go after your goals whole-heartedly and not half-heartedly.
If you really want to benefit from my expertise and hard work to help you (luckily “Path to Your Success” is free now), answer these in the comments bellow. And, because success is important, plan to spend whatever time it takes to answer as I tell you. If you skip a step and try to be in a hurry, you’ll miss the benefits.
Just the process of writing involves more of your brain and the results of your thinking have stronger impact on you.
I call “writing” the “doing part of thinking”.
Please write you answers in the comments and expect to become more confidence and more sure of your success.
Q 1: Do you absolutely certainly want to achieve your goal which you said is your most important goal?
Q2: If you achieve your goals, what benefits will it give you now and later in your life? What benefits will it give to your family? Pride? Respect of society? Money? Good career? Power? Super self-confidence? Happiness? And what benefits will it give the society?
Q3: Imagine for a moment: if you fail to achieve your goals, what would it mean to you and family. Frustration? Shame? Lack of confidence? Failure?
Now that you have just experienced the difference between success and failure fully, you are ready to go to the next question.
Q4. Suppose you were sure of your success (you deserve it). How much harder you’ll work? How much better you’ll work? How much more motivated you’ll become? What all you’ll do and get to help you get good rank? Will you still feel lazy? Will you still feel you don’t deserve enough to get the best coaching, tools, courses, CDs, mind machines? How will you be able to get Rs 150 to Rs 1 lakh or more it may take to get the best preparation?
Q5: If you were absolutely certain that you’ll get success and totally whole-heartedly motivated to do whatever it takes to get the success, how soon will you start to work towards it? Will you still delay and postpone your effort? Will you still find reasons why not to start today and right now?
Decide what 3 actions you’ll take (1) one action right now (2) one action in the next 24 hours, (3) one action in the next 7 days. And, then make a promise / commitment to yourself that you’ll do these 3 actions for your own success.
Ok, go and write your answers in the comment area at the end of this page.
And, after you write your answers, come back here and do one more thing: click here to download something called toolbar, which is software that puts useful links at the top of your browser: http://successsecrets.ourtoolbar.com/ (it has links to my blog, games, gadgets, TV, etc). Then click on Free Download button. Once the toolbar called Success Secrets is installed, click on some of the links to see what they have.
I’ll write the Part 3 (the final in this series) in a day or two.
With my new year greetings on 31 Dec, I asked you to tell me about your biggest goal and biggest problem.
Here are sample replies I got. Read carefully and try to understand their real problem (and not what they say).
IMPORTANT: Here is your challenge that will give you great understanding on the nature of the problems so you can avoid them or overcome them easily: Please read all emails and try to identify if the write is really serious about solving the problem (this you know from careless writing, many spelling errors as if the writer does not care even when getting free advice from an me, expecting serious problem to be solved by 1 line tip, etc.). Please write your comments / advise at the end of all these email messages. I’ll read your comments and write my suggestions in the next blog in a few days.
I’m a student and can you please suggest some
effective methods to study- how to motivate oneself, make a study
routine,etc. Thank you.
Biggest Problem: My age 39, B.Tech(Mech), i worked 13 yrs in mechanical industry, now i am working as Software Developer. Because my age is 39, how long can I continue in this field?, will they keep senior people in this software field? suppose because of senority if they remove jobs, then how could I acheive my goal.
my goal is to be an IITan.but,my main problem is lack of concentration.
my serious problem is I amn’t being able to focuseon my goals for long.
Can you guide how to determine one’s single biggest career goal and staying fixed to it?
My biggest goal is to clear CAT in my first attempt in the year 2011.I am working right now and travelling from home to work and back home takes me 4-4.5 hours as a result of which i spend time all my time sleeping during the weekends and am not able to devote anytime to my CAT preparation.This is the biggest obstacle towards my goal.
I WANT TO BECOME DU TOPPER IN TOP 10 OR 15″.
MY SINGLE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS THAT “M NOT ABLE TO WAKE UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND MY WHOLE DAY USED TO BECOME BAD OR SPOITL.
my biggest goal is to achieve topmost rank in IIT and the problem which i am facing is lack of concentration and quick memory loss problem while studing.
single BIGGEST GOAL is i want to be placed in IT company
single BIGGEST problem is i dont have fluency in english.
how to make time table to achievw higher marks in 10 board.
some tricks to become special from others,genius.
sir i am a poor person please give me your material in free [family situation difficulty but my aim great goal in upsc] thank yout
Well, I guess I could never acheive the biggest goal in my this life. Provisionally, my goal is to secure good marks in my final exams and project. Before, I was not studying properly and seriously. I can understand my problem of not concentrating properly on my studies. I am distracted, so I am not able to focus properly.I think too much about money and all. This makes me focus less as well. I guess this might be the problem for many people
a student of XII science, PCMB, my immediate goal
is to bring a proper result in ISC i aim for a 90+ specially in PCM so
that i can get into a good college in kolkata to pursue hons in
physics or maths but the biggest problem that i m facing is not being
able to concentarte properly i just cant sit and read i have become
too impatient…. 2 months to the exam and not studying properly can
put me in big mess…..and apart from my studies i love reading novels
i feel like totally spending all my time into it and writing…..i
like writing stories poems nd all and this has totally gotten over me
…..i know its not bad its good that i have a skill nd i am true to
my passion bout novels but i just cant fix a balance between that nd
I am unable to reach my goals due to lack of self confidence and some times I am very lazy. These two are my major problems to do anything.I hope that you can give best answer for these two problems.
I need to improve my vocab and communication skills..kindly suggest me some easy method for improving the same
My single BIGGEST goal is To Start My Own Business(Hopefully In ITES) at my Home Town.
And single BIGGEST problem I am facing towards achieving goal is Lack of Funds & Infrastructure Support there.
MY BIGGETS GOAL IS TO GET ADMISSION IN IIM AHMEDABAD IN AGRI BUSINESS PLAN. BT MY CAT WAS HORRIBLE N AFRAID TO TAKE 2ND ATTEMPT AS I’M NOT TOO MUCH HARD WORKING N QUIT EASILY
MY BIGGEST AIM (FOR NOW) IS TO CLEAR IIT-JEE WITH A GOOD RANK.
— 2 :MY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS THAT I JUST KEEP PROCRASTINATING AND WASTE A LOT OF TIME. THOUGH I AM GOOD IN STUDIES, I FEEL IF I GIVE UP THIS HABIT I WOULD GET MUCH BETTER RESULT.
.my goal is to became an I.A.S officer…
my problems are that i cant fix my attention at one place,.i cant concentrate because of which i lack in confidence…and also I am a bit lazy to act fast
biggest goal of getting into R&D. My main problem is that i am not much motivated towards my goal. Can you suggest me some ideas so that i can be motivated to work for it. I always neglect studying when ever i start it. I always get diverted from my work.
My biggest goal is to live simple with no tension by having enough money.
My biggest problem is my thinking for ex. if any one scold me in a rude manner suddenly who are well known 2 me.I wont scold evn single word to them. and thinking too much about even small things…
My biggest goal is to achieve top level in my business (recently started), but I have some communication problem, fear and shy.
I have prep aired competitive exams for 1 year but we do not got any fruition. Now i am very disgust my interest has became zero.
So please suggest what I will do.
My BIGGEST Goal is to acquire PG Degree(MS) from one of the Top 10 Universities of US and then to find a highly paid job in US it is because i have another BIGGEST GOAL of life hidden in it and it is I have to build a HOUSE for my Ma and Papa as they faced a lot of problems to make me an Engineer and our present house is too small to live.
My BIGGEST Problem in achieving my Goal is that I do not have proper funds to acquire my degree and presently I m doing job and it is very difficult for me to abandon my job as I have so many family responsibilities.
my biggest goal is to do a 1 year post graduate MBA programme for working executives from IIM’s.My biggest problem is procratination,being rudder less,low motivation,casual attitude,fear to take up new things,fear of future etc.
Need your help to overcome my demons
my single biggest goal is to become CEO of a company , my single biggest problem is communication , pls give your suggestion
Problem Faced: When I spoke with big Boss My Face Expression get down as well I am unable explain / Influence whatever I know Technical/commercial Matter
My Aim in my life is that i want to be an IAS officer. For achieving my goal i am doing lot of hardwork and studies but i face some problems in solving mathematics paper as i am slow in calculation.please help me to achieve my goal . As i am student i dont have creditcard and so i cannot afford your course
What is your tip to avoid procrastination?? I did find it to
overcome it.. Pls help me out of it.
I registered in Ph.D in 2008, but have not been able to submit even my synopsis. The reason is perhaps I have no idea regarding how to go about achieving it.
The sub-conscious mind is not under our conscious control. The sub-conscious mind functions on the basis of information stored in it. This is the basis of mind programming.
Mind programming means that if we can put information in a person’s subconscious mind, then we can alter that person’s behavior. The main difficulty is the conscious mind, which does not let us put information in the sub-conscious mind.
To understand the power of mind programming, let us see one example from history of my city Udaipur. You may also know a similar example from your part of India. When enemies attacked and killed the king, his son was saved by a servant named Panna Dhay. Finally, the boy grew up and became the king. Why do you think he could do it? Was it in the blood (genetics) of the boy? No. He did it because the servant and everybody else told the boy “You are a prince. You must become the king. The enemy has taken over your kingdom. And when you grow up, you must take revenge and defeat the enemy”. Constantly hearing these messages, the child’s mind was programmed. As a result, the child did not want to become an officer or an executive but he wanted to become the king. And he was willing to die to achieve his goal.
This historical story shows that people or society can program your mind. Unlike the prince, most of us become programmed by wrong messages such as “Don’t do that … don’t take risk … don’t be stupid … you are stupid … you are not so good as so-and-so.” You can imagine the bad effect such messages can have on any person.